How Intimacy Improves Communication

"Such a lovely world,
Oh, so magical.
Precious like a pearl,
Wrapped up in a shell.
Hear your heart,
See the love,
Feel the soul lift up."
-- Erasure ("So the Story Goes")

What do people hope for in their love relationships? Reporter Lynn Harris ("Ladies Home Journal," March 1998) wrote that our wish lists include appreciation, communication, intimacy, friendship, and honesty. Appreciation means your partner isn't taking you for granted. You are special just because you are you.

Regina Barreca, Ph.D., suggests that words assuring us we are still desirable are important. Communication means more than asking, "How was your day?" Good communication involves intimacy, too. Authors Liza Donnelly and Michael Maslin ("Husbands and Wives") call intimacy "the shorthand communication of a good marriage."

Including the element of friendship in your intimate relationships confers greater freedom to share. You can talk and do things as if you're with a best friend -- including not taking things so seriously and just having fun. Being honest with each other is another precious freedom that comes easily to friends.